A day on leave

So I was on leave today. Did enough things I don’t normally do to realise that work – those eight to twelve hours spent at a desk typing or at meetings talking or reading or thinking – really does take up an enormous amount of our time. In turn, this got me inspired to do more with all the time I spend at work. (Wonder how long this will last :p)

Just listened to Slate’s most recent euphemism contest podcast. This one was for euphemisms for “death”, and I thought these were funny:

• taking a dirt nap
• lost his fight with entropy (cited by an Isaac Asimov fan)
• leaving the sample (used by a political pollster to describe a respondent who will no longer be a respondent)
• eat the grass by the root (French, apparently)

Really looking forward to the Sandy Lam concert on 9 Dec.

You don't want to be promoted to customer…

So I was listening to Slate’s podcast on its most recent euphemism contest, and this one was on corporate euphemisms. Perhaps because of its wide scope and rather cynical subject matter, the euphemisms weren’t as entertaining as those for stupid, which I wrote about a few blogs back. Anyway, here are some I thought were rather fun:

Liberating captive assets [In other words, stealing office stationery]

I can’t say enough good things about her. I could not give this applicant a higher recommendation. If you can get her to work for you, you will be lucky. [The killer recommendation letter trifecta]

Promoted to customer / on eternity leave [Fired]

You're… er… a few fries short of a Happy Meal…

So I had bookmarked this podcast about Slate‘s Euphemism Contest a couple of weeks back, and I finally got around to listening to it. The podcast hosts had invited listeners to submit euphemisms for “stupid”. For example, the subject of this little post: “a few fries short of a Happy Meal”. The podcast was quite funny. You should really download it and listen to it if you can. I particularly liked these ones:

His elevator doesn’t go to the top floor (or its Spanish counterpart: His pail doesn’t come up to the top of the well)

The wheel is turning but the hamster is dead [A bit morbid, this one.]

As sharp as a blimp / the leading edge of a basketball [There must be many, many of these similes around...]

He’s got his solar panels on the north side [Err... I don't know... even if they're on the north side, they'll get some sun, no? But I liked the thought put into this one.]

At the blackjack table of life, he stands at 11 [If you don't get this, see if you can ask someone who plays blackjack to explain this to you.]

All vacuum and no tube [Very evocative, this one.]

Homeschooled by poodles [Well, at least one would know how to bark and prance around...]

His faculties will never be tenured [For those pursuing higher education :p]